Again I'm not quite sure what it is that I'm here to write, but I sort of know when I should be writing, and it's now. Low with the cold for a few weeks saps the creative juices and I sort of nod my way through the days. But now I'm coming back to myself again, so here I am. I'm beginning to enjoy poetry more. I always liked writing it, conjuring something beautiful that transcended the beauty of the individual words; but now I'm also getting into reading poetry more. I came across this book of poetry that a woman had self-published and had left in a coffee shop for sale. I bought one and was pleased to find a few that were quite good. But more than that, there was a feeling that this person believed in what they were saying, and had taken the pains to produce the well turned out booklet on pure white sheets covered with an original worked up illustration. There was so much white space left free on the sheets, words being used sparingly by the poet, and the whole effect was to pacify. The themes that were touched on were 'big', perhaps this is why so few words were used to treat of them - out of humility for their grandeur. Anyway, it seems a little bit like as I tried to wrap the duvet around me enough to keep out the cold, I was also becoming wrapped up in a moment of faith, faith that the world could be met with something other than hostility, and perhaps even a receptive and understanding placidity of spirit.
I'm also having great fun getting into Little Women by Lousia May Allcott for the first time. I've seen the film and a bit of the earlier one, but have never read the book. It is also a testament to the spiritual (if I can use that word that has been so abused) and I smile as I think of the pure goodness of Beth. I also smile when I think of Jo struggling with the fact that she was not born male, especially when Jo is modelled on the writer herself. What Allcott does is something all great literature should do, which is give wonderful pleasure.
Apart from that I'm a chessaholic. My brother Robert got me started on the internet chess, playing him in a game and now I can have up to six games on the go simultaneously. I'm in nerdy heaven, and being very competitive I am seeing enemies in the undergrowth everwhere. I even have a number rating which I view with a passion as I hope it will make up for my low self esteem!
There's a peace that's over taking me, and I hope it continues. For a while I've been unsettled, but I think my studies are paying off and are giving me some of the answers that I have been looking for. I've a renewed appreciation of the people I am studying, and I can even say that I've worked well this week. just need to read for a while now, which is always my fall down. I'm muchmore interested in what I'm going to say that than anyone else, and this isn't always the healthiest for a what-not wishing to get a job as a you-hoo. People always need you to know stuff, so I'll put down my quill and go back to the page; well, I might just write a poem first.
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