Addiction so hard to break

I find myself wanting to write this piece without really knowing what I want to write - a strange place to find myself. I have just written on another blog about how we're all really free and I find addictively drawn to continue to vent my spleen, or tickle my muse, in this literate way. I think it is the result of a stirring creativity, while at the same time I am not channeling it in any other productive way - but this is productive in a self congratulatory pat on the back you're-all-right-after-all sort of way.
Last night I found myself playing Mikado in the restaurant attached to the film institute. We'd just seen a film. I was reminded me that I had to get back to writing my book, which has been on hold now for an ice-age. This was because Francesca and Susannah were there again and the last time we met I told them that there was a Francesca in my (our - my friend's and my) book who was an assistant to an astronomer, at which Francesca's (the real one's) eyes filled up as she too has a secret passion for astronomy; and also that there was an amateur Irish drama group travelling around Italy doing Oscar Wilde in the open air, whereas this is what Susannah has already done! (minus the Oscar Wilde part) The coincidence was too much, and yesterday I told them that I was commited to go back to the keys once more, and was encouraged to do so.
Today, I just finished a book one of my students from last year loaned my called 'From Science to God' by Peter Russell and it has 're-awakened' me once more to being more mindful. Alot of the things he says are insightful, though I think he claims a bit more than is just. His whole worldview comes down to life is what we create, and that we can saved from suffering through the right attitude. While this is often patently wrong as not everything depends on us entirely, it is a good working hypothesis for a lot of the problems that exist which do depend on us. I had the book for a long time without reading it, and now that I have, I am properly contrite and grateful as I return it to my considerate student.
But this is another addiction I find so hard to break, that of leaving everything to the last possible minute and then taking a flying leap at the thing to be done. It often works out for the best, and I have a sort of 'spiritually beat' sensation as I do it, but it is not so good for those who rely on me and have to try to be an understanding friend or other type of person as I 'go into my shell' and 'missing in action'. Most of the time I am missing in inaction, much like all the space we believe exists inside the atom, and then for a short time I am a swirling electron orbiting the nucleus of my brain for a little while, active but fleeting, spreading my butter too thin in my personal relationships. Anyway ... I'm off now to do something healthy, to play football, but I think I'll be coming around this way again sometime soon!