Taking Risks

I managed to make a big decision in the last day which has repercussions. I decided not to accept a job in Saudi Arabia that was looking mine for the asking. It would have provided me with enough to finish the PhD comfortably. By staying I risk not being able to manage it, though the probability is still fifty fifty. But going I felt that I was risking more, not just in security terms, though that was an important consideration, but also otherwise. What do we risk whenever we consciously agree to live in the 'house' of someone else and abide by their rules whenever that means knowing that injustice is systematic and knowing that speaking out is immediately punishable? Ninety percent of myself was in the idea of going, but the last ten percent of the heart would not follow, and I could not make it. Silence, Frére Roger says, is sometimes tantamount to being complicit whenever evil is present. And to have gone agreeing to be silent for a year was something more than I could bring myself to do. But there's peace with the decision and having considered the proposition that was on offer has certainly opened my eyes further to the plight of Christians, Shi'as, Sufis and other religions that have to survive underground there. Staying is a different type of risk, but it is one that I can ask myself to commit to.